what could have been:ten years pass
by PpinstripeE
Summary: This is in rememberence of the Death of Miheal and Mail. What would have happened if they hadn't died on 1/26/10? SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER. M for strong language, violence and sex. Has sex and fluff for you sex and fluff lovers. WARNING:VERY FRICKEN DEPRESSING. MattXMello. Not manpreg, but they do have a child as well. I suck at decriptions, it's great jsut read it.


Pinstripe: This is in memory of Miheal Keehl and Mail Jeevas who died today (or yesterday depending on when I get this posted) on 1/26/10.

Alois:Rest in peace.

* * *

Bullets of a Japanese police officers gun, fly into the air, piercing the fleece of the redhead known as Matt's jacket and into his body. Blood spurts out of each individual hole staining his now swiftly dying body, he coughs more blood. As he stumbles onthe asphalt stained with his very own DNA, he sees all the has happened in his life flash before his goggle covered eyes. He remembers a petite blonde child yelling at a white-haired child and snatching a G.I Joe out of his hand. He remembers the smile of that boy welcoming him to this strange place they took him after daddy shot mommy. He remembers going to the store with Roger to pick out a shiny red gameboy off of a plastic shelf. He remembers that day that his blonde chocoholic roommate kissed him, hot pressure on his virgin lips. He remembers the night Mello asked him to run away with him during sex, he remembers the moment his said a breathy yes upon his lovers pink lips. He remembers all of the sex, all of the kisses, all of the hugs, all of the meaningful I love yous and most of all he remembers the last.

_"Be careful out there Mail, I can't have you dying on me...I love you yu'know..._."

A single tear fell out of his eye, leaking out of the plastic containment of his goggles. His body fell back against the car behind him. The cigarette he had in his mouth fell as he attempted to let out a last word before his poor soul left the world, but it was too late...

* * *

Imagine if this did not happen...how would it be...how would it be...If Matt escaped, If everything went according to plan what would have occured with L's succsessors...who knows...

_10 years afters what would have been Matt and Mellos death. _

"Goddamn it's been a long day" I mumble to myself as I drag my heavy leather boots across the metal staircase leading to my pretty decent apartment. A black longhaired cat starts to follow me, as he always does whenever I get home from the mob's "offices". He lets out a small, "Mew", and rubs it's fluffy coal fur against the leather of my pants. "Mew". He...or she...I shouldn't just suggest a gender upon the animal...it happens enough to me...is really fucking annoying.

I sigh and bend down to look at the pathetic creature.

"What do you want from me ?" I ask rhetorically as if it could answer. I forcibly rubbed it's attention-deprived head into the roughness of my, oddly un-gloved, palm.

I sigh once more, I notice for the first time he as completely white paws, a straight line goes around it's ankles as if it were wearing pants.

"Heh, You look like your not wearing shoes...Just like...Well never mind." I rubbed the felines head once more and stood up, walking up five more steps, up to my apartment door 103. I turn the nob, knowing it'll be unlocked.

"Daddy!" A sweet voice calls out for me. "Linda, how was school today?" I throw my suitcase off to the side not caring where it goes in my already messy home, Lets just say my housewife isen't the best. "Uh...not so good..." I raised an eyebrow. "Papa had to pick me up from school early..."

"Linda Lawiet Keehl-Jeevas..." I crossed my scarred arms as I collapsed on my broken in old couch. "Tell me what happened..." I said relunctantly.

"Well, Davie said that being a detective is stupid, that L was stupid, that he was fake so...so I..." I smirked a little at her fumbling. Her little finger twirling her blonde-white hair like someone else I once knew. "So I told him, my Papa is a detective too and my Daddy sometimes works with detectives th-then he said Well you have two faggot dads so it doesn't matter anyways, So then I punched him in the face and broke his nose..." The little dastardly mini-me flinched down waiting for a punishment. and then smiled and windened her eyes in surprise when I scooped her up from the floor and kissed her on the cheek.

"That's my girl." She hugged me as tight as his frail little arms could, her face gleaming with happiness of my approval.

A door creaks open behind me. "Mello your home!" I felt two arms moved around my neck to embrace me and then saw stripped sleeves in front of me.

"Hello beautiful..." I turned my head 90 degrees to kiss the pert lips of my red-headed lover.

"Ewie!" Cried the six year old in my lap.

"Come on what's so gross about your dads kissing?" My husband reached out a hand to tickle her blue dress covered belly resulting a small giggle and her hand pushing him away.

"That's fine and stuff but Papa smokes and his breath is stinky, how can you kiss that?" We both laugh at the adorable blonde. "Well when you love someone honey you don't really care how damn much they smell. " I felt Mail pinch the skin on my neck. "Hey!" I swatted at his hand. He smiled at me in the most loving way then placed his mouth on mine again capturing my lips, making me fell like i'm melting beneath him when..._ding-dong_. "Ding dong! Ding dong!" Linda bounced in my lap like she always did when the bell rang.

"I'll get it." Said the redhead getting up from leaning against the couch to go to the door. As he got up my eyes focused on our lovely Linda. No, She sadly can't be both of ours...she isn't even really adopted...but she is definitely more of Mails daughter than mine. Seven years ago Mail and I had a fight. over something I hardly remember. Long-story short I ended up moving out. We broke up, Of course after that I went to the bar down the street from the apartment we had lived in at the time. I sat down on one of the bar stools of the Drink or Death bar, every other thing in my mouth was chocolate or booze.I saw that woman with the long red-hair and the mix-matched eyes, her name Mandy, her occupation stripper, her IQ, low, Her looking like the female version of Matt 95%.

I don't remember what was said all I remember was waking up in a shitty hotel room that smelt like cheap booze and sweat next to her.

We spent one month there together. I went to work, she well...went to _work. _All we did together was watch T.V, argue over our money and have sex. The day it ended was the day I was liberated from the wench and went crawling back to Mattie. Now, for...safety reasons Mail calls me Mello and I call him Matt except in the bedroom, Where we let ourselves free to truly be ourselves...this is where things went wrong.

Now normally I could make due with having sex with her, she was flatchested from all of the meth she did and her name was Mandy, I called her Mand, so when we had sex I would yell out Matt because it sounded enough like mand. This time I has slipped.

Big time.

But in the end it was for the good.

I was hovering over her, my eyes squeezed shut so I wouldn't see her face, that had the expensive makeup I had bought her crudely smudged all over it. I was dripping sweat, my hands pushing down onto the stained mattress, practically feeling the mattress springs between my jeweled and gloved fingers. At one last moment before I was finished, "MAIL!" I screamed out loud enough you probably could hear me two floors down, with the paper thin plaster covering every-side of the room.

She shoved me off in disgust, pulling the striped silk sheet I had bought over her almost non-existent breasts. "WHO THE HELL IS MAIL MARLIN?" She screamed the alias I had told her. "WHAT KIND OF FUCKING NAME IS THAT ANYWAY? YOU DAMN CHEATER!" She threw the cheap, already cracked ceramic blue lamp at my head, It didn't hurt bad but it has cut me in a few places.

I pulled up my boxers and grabbed for my pants not wanting the crazy bitch to hurt something else.I decided right then I was tired of this, that I needed him back. "Mand, i'm sorry okay, you know this isn't love. This is living together and having sex. I love someone else. Besides who would love a white-trash cranker prostitute like you?" I spit at her as I pulled on my vest. I then walked over to the dresser and stuffed my chocolate into my already mostly packed suitcase.

She continued to throw whatever she could at me including her blue-see-through underwear while I packed.

"GET OUTTA HERE I DON'T NEED YOUR SORRY CHEATING ASS! GO AHEAD AND LEAVE LIKE ALL OF THE OTHER MEN IN MY LIFE! I DON'T NEED YOU!" I could hear the sobs behind her anger, She actually thought I would stay because she has a sob story. I sighed and picked up my two suitcases.

"Hey, I still wanna be friends here, If you need me here's my card." I threw it behind me, not caring where it lands and walked away closing the filthy door, to the filthy room behind me.

I went home after sitting on a corner, contemplating what to do for an hour about what to do. When I came home Mail smothered me with tears and kisses and told me to never leave again, and I didn't.

However, Mand popped by 9 1/2 months later.

"Mels! There's someone here to fucking see you!" Is what my darling said in his most adorable of pissy tones. It was her, looking twice as skinny and wretched with a baby with blue eyes and short little tufts of blonde hair rapped in a paper bag, saying it was mine. There was no denying she was my child. I told her to be quiet to go buy some diapers, some baby formula and a burger for herself. Then after she leaves again to send the adoption papers. I snatched the child from her thin, vainy arms and slammed the door. I explained everything to Matt and he understood.

That is how I found the second love in my wonderful life.

"Pizzas here!" I look up from our daughter and jump from being startled out of thought. That one month was hell, fighting Kira ten years ago was hell, working with near was more than hell, but it was worth the life I have now.

* * *

Heat rushed to my cock and to my lips as my wonderful husband kissed me in every place imaginable.

"Mail...ah...uhn...Mail...oh Mail your an animal tonight." He chuckled and tugged on my lips pulling on it. "Aren't i always? I mean come on after years of exercising my hands on the controllers they gotta be good for something."

"I don't play those stupid things much, are my hands still good?" I made a sly smile and sunk my hand down his tight trousers, missing his penis purposely to stroke his sensitive thighs. He breathily moaned. "Immensely."

He took off my other glove with his not-so pearly whites and threw it to the side. His tongue searched my hand and began to suck on one single digit, my middle finger, while his own fingers slid up my thin, slinky black shirt. His fingers ran over ever rib-bone like a marathoner over a hill to reach up to dip his fingers into my collarbones.

"Is Linda asleep?" I let out on one breath. He reluctantly removed his mouth from my bony fingers. "Yes, I put her in bed and by the time I started to read her the instruction manual for her new DS she fell asleep, you know how excited she gets over new consoles so she must be tired when i'm reading that to her. . Now shut up and let me play with you." I smirked at his words.

"Play with me? Play with me? I'm not a game Mail..." I teased him with my words before shifting my knee between his legs. "I can play you like I play any game I just have to find the..." His hands traveled down to my back, "Cheats." He started to rub the small of my back making it arch and making me mew like a kitten. "What was that Miheal?" He chuckled darkly. "Ma-Ma-mai...uh...fuck you..." I felt so weak beneath him. "I intend to.."

He moved up to my scarred face and kissed the burnt half.

"Do you realize how breathtaking you are mels?" He moved one hand from my weakspot to stroke the pink more-tender skin of mine that led down to my partially exposed shoulder. "Take off your shirt so I can take you in." I blushed and attempted to hid it as I lifted my shirt up over my head. "I'm not beautiful in any way...i'm a freak..." Mails face turned serious at my words.

"Don't you ever dare say that. You are the most beautiful person I have ever laid eyes on. Don't let anything of anyone tell you otherwise. Your scars tell a story of how you have survived so many horrors yet have still managed to be a indescribable person inside an out, I mean look at you!" I blushed again.

"Mail...I wish I could be as beautiful as you on the inside and out." I pulled him close to my chest so he no longer hovered over me so I could feel his heart beating, reaching to get mine. His hair smelt like cigarette smoke and strawberries as it messily touched my face and got a bit in my mouth. "You are such a great person, following along with my stupid plans constantly, especially that one in Japan with Kira you could have been shot...you could have been killed...and with how you forgave me so quickly when I came back home those years ago and when you forgave me for sleeping with that whorebag and how you've taken care of our child that isn't even blood-related to you...You just always help me out so much, You're always there...always.." I start to tear up on the eye that still has a working tear duct. I can't let him see the tear, although he knows me too well, he'll know i'm crying.

He tries to go back to his hovering position, but I won't let him, I pull him back down I want his chest to touch mine.

"So it's gonna be like that huh?" He tugs off his own black and red striped shirt. "You are so cute sometimes you know that?" I don't say a word and pull him tighter to me, burrowing myself into his neck. He kisses my cheek with a little wet kiss noise.

"Please make love to me Mail...right fucking now...but don't let go..." I squeeze him tighter. He strokes my neck vertically to show that he understands.

He tugs off my pants first, which are very difficult to remove, especially when a overly attached Mello is clinging to you. I'll just say it took him more than 5 minutes. The whole time we giggled and we tickled and kissed each other in-between him trying to tug down my leather penis trap of death. Once they were finally off her stroked my semi-hard cock with the most gentle care. I truly felt loved with every touch. He started to tug on the organ, squeezing it once he got to the top, his talented thumb rubbing the hole. He did it so slow and caringly I didn't even think about the AMAZING sexual gratitude I felt, I only thought about how much I knew we truly loved each other. "M-Mail..." I whimpered. " I love you..." I whispered into his ear before tenderly nipping at it.

He hummed into his words "I love you too Miheal." His head lifted slightly to look into my eyes. I saw tears of happiness shedding from his bright green orbs. "I love you too." We melted into a kiss, calling it passionate would be understated.

One hand of his reached up to push his goggles out of his hair and onto the black sheets, and then then to my face, his other hand moved down to his own pants.

He easily tugged his ripped blue jeans off of his legs. His boxers the only things separating us from being one.

"Pesky things." I mumbled. "New rule no underwear ever!" He laughed and kissed my nose as he tugged the cockblock cloth down. I could feel his length rubbed against mine. We both let out relieved groans as we rubbed them together a bit roughly.

Our mouths found each other. They described how much love we felt radiating off of each other more than words ever could.

One of his hand wandered towards the bedside table, mostly likely to get lube. Our chests never had yet had a gap, I feel like no one could separate us. No one. I feel his hands slippery sliding across my bare cheek and into my ass. He pushed his two digits down slow and gently, letting my take my damn good time to settle. He started to stretch me out more and add three, he started to move up when "AH! MAI-MAIL GODDAMN!" Okay I'm an obnoxious loudmouth in bed...

My redheaded detective-lover awkwardly bent his head and hit my nose to read down to my chest.

I felt his tongue pick up the cross of my charcoal rosary.

He pushed the piece of wood onto my mouth and let his tongue leak through every gap. Our tongues began to fight against each other and the cross while down below I held on to his cock like there was no tomorrow and he moved his fingers perfectly over my prostate shooting me into heaven. Our mouths fiercely fought at each other until I lost when something replaced his delicate fingers with something else.

"AH!" I tilted back my head in pain. "Shhhhh, Mels Shhhh" He kissed my neck and wrapped his skinny but muscular arms around me to make sure out hearts stay as close as possible. I feel so safe, so loved.

He's all the way in and rests on my chest. My muscles start to rest around him. I don't have to speak, he knows to move. We both start to breath audibly. "Ah ah ah ah,ah ah oh god ah god ohgod...uh!" I started squirm beneath him and make marks on the pale skin of his back. "Oh Miheal...my god, so..ughn...tight...so perfect...god ah.." He started to move faster.

All I know is that right now, I feel pleasure in the center of me, I have him in the center of me, we are one, and we love each other.

There seems to be nothing but our two bodies and souls in the entire universe. His hot flesh continues to lunge into me.

I feel out heartbeats starting to sync and at the same time go faster and faster. I like my heart would burst.

"MAIL!" My nails made his back start to bleed as a came and called his name. I could tell he barely had any energy left in him. "I..." He panted. "Love you so much Miheal...I always will...even in" He panted again. "Death." He came into me. I felt his heat blast into my body. He went limp on my body.

Something then felt wrong, very very wrong, he started to feel cold. I tried to lift him off of me. "Mail? This isn't funny...Mail!" I turned him over with a push. Multiple bulletsholes covered his naked body. "MAIL!" Tears flood my eyes. Blood starts to spurt out and stain both of our skin. I kiss him as if he were in a sleeping beauty trance and would make up once our mouths graced each others. I felt no life behind his lips. "MAIL!"

* * *

I jump awake and hit my head on the back of the seat of the stupid cold truck i'm in.

It...was all a dream...it as all a lie..

I feel tears flowing across the smooth part of my face. I touch them with my black-gloved hand. The wetness soaks through to my pink fingers beneath. I feel the tears welling up in my eye again. I let out a word that turns into a sob. "M-Mail...I'm so sorry...Matt I got you killed...I'm so sorry...It's all my fault...Ma-"

I feel my chest tighten. "NO! NOT NOW! NOT NOW!" I scream "I CAN'T LET HIS DEATH BE IN VAIN! DAMN YOU KIRA!MAIL! I LOVE-" I can't utter anymore words I feel my body fall onto the wheel of the truck.

I feel my see my life flash before my eyes in my last fifteen seconds or so of life. I remember Mama dying of sickness, I remember a white-haired boy next to a dark haired man welcoming me into a safe home, I see a beautiful ginger-haired boy walking in as I steal my nemesis's toy. I remember the candy shop i went to everyday after class. I remember the blushing face of Mail when I only knew him as Matt, after I kissed him for the first time, I remember the night after I blew up at Roger, having sex with my love, me being the one plunging into him as I ask him to run away with me and moans to me yes.

I remember all of the sex, all of the kisses, all of the hugs, all of the meaningful I love yous and most of all I remember the last.

_"I love you too Miheal, Don't die on me either, we'll get Kira I just know it."_

I feel my heart start to slow from the fastness of a second before and say a final prayer knowing this is my last moment.

My prayer to God and Mother Mary, is short and meaningful and so are my last thoughts.

I hope we will say hello again Mail. I only want to once again say hello.

* * *

Pinstripe:Once again I am an evil sadistic bitch...

Alois:*drowned in tears*

Pinstripe:WELL goodnight i'm tired. I hope you enjoyed.

Review and share please.


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